Girl Of My Dreams (Literally)

To the girl who intrudes my dreams,

Please stop ruining my good sleep.

Yes you might be great part of my dreams,

But it’s just that; A dream, not reality.

You take form of something that has never been real to me.

So unless I see one of the many forms of you on the street,

Please stop giving me hope that we’re going to meet.

I want you so much, to the point where I’m in complete misery.

Next time I close my eyes to sleep,

I don’t want to see you again, or else I’ll weep.

But it wouldn’t be so horrible if I got another peak.

What happened? A Question To Past Friends

What happened? That’s what I’d like to know.

What was the catalyst that caused you to go?

We used to talk every week.

Now I’m just looking at your read receipts.

What did I say? What did I do?

Can you please tell me, cause I haven’t got a clue.

No matter how much I analyze,

I just start to catastrophize.

I end up thinking you hate me.

Which I feel like everyone does lately.

I need you to tell me I’m wrong.

Or else I’ll keep feeling like I don’t belong.

So, what happened?

Girl In The Garden

There stays a girl in a garden, who lives in great despair.

She surrounded herself with help, but still thinks she doesn’t belong there.

She masks herself with with her quick wit,

All while feeling like she’s at the bottom of pit.

From the moment I saw her, I could see the overwhelming pain.

Even while she was laughing in the mountain rain.

I don’t know what her future holds, whether it’s good or bad.

I didn’t know her for very long, But I still think she’s pretty rad.

Social Anxiety

At first glance I seem unapproachable,

I am in no way sociable,

But I want to be.

I barely go out,

I have social droughts

Because I’m held hostage by social anxiety.

I don’t know why I’m this way.

I don’t really want to stay in all day.

I’m in a serotonin delay because I haven’t been hugged since may.

Next time you see me

Please don’t socially isolate me

Because all that does is enable my social anxiety

Lost For Words

I cannot think of what I want to say to you

The words aren’t coming to me as easily as they usually do.

I have so much to say, but no words to put together

It’s as easy as a severe storm to weather.

You leave me wordless when I think you

It wasn’t on purpose, but you left me breathless too.

I need to come up with something to say so I can finally get to relay everything I want you to know.

I can’t talk now, so get back to me in a week or so.

I’m Not Going To Ask You Out

I’m not going to ask you out, because you’re very cute and I’m fully aware that I’m just a 6 on my best day.

I’m not going to ask you out, because you’re awesome and I’m just okay.

I’m not going to ask you out, because you’ll probably find my interests weird or immature

I’m not going to ask you out, because you’d be the only one who looks normal in our picture

I’m not going to ask you out, because I don’t want to lose another friend.

And until I know you like me back, I’m not going to ask you out, because I’m not ready to be hurt again

Static

I’m in a room full of people, but I’m entrapped in isolation.

I can’t hear anything but the buzzing conversations.

The blend of voices mold together to make it incomprehensible,

Much like a static that makes one miserable.

It’s the only thing keeping my focus.

I fucking hate this.

Turn it off.

This noise isn’t kind.

Turn it off!

I’m losing my mind.

Turn it off!

I’m starting to panic!

TURN IT OFF!!!

Please turn off this static………………………………….

I’m Depressed

I’m depressed. You may have already known. Even when I tell everyone, I still feel so alone.

I want to cry. I desperately want this pain to end but I still don’t want to die.

I need your help, because in this empty apartment I can’t heal myself.

I want to SCREAM WITH ALL THAT I AM!! but i stay quiet with the screams I hear but no one else can.

I’m crumbled to the floor, unable to stand. Arms reaching out hoping for a helping hand.

I’m depressed. This is just the start. I hope you hear me, before I further damage my broken heart

Round & Round

You come to me with tears in your eye,

After you’ve broken with another “dream” guy.

You say it’s gonna a take a long time, to get through all this heartache.

I said “Have faith, take it day by day. You’ll eventually find your way.”

“I love and miss him so much!” I hear as I’m so single that I’m craving just an ounce of touch.

Then I see a picture on Instagram, of you and your new boyfriend.

You said you were hurt, and now I feel like dirt.

It’s gone round & round and I’m so over….it

I’m Not Jealous, But I’m Jealous

You’re crying tears of happiness, while I’m crying tears of sorrow.

You have your life planned out, but I have no plans for tomorrow.

It really happened when I wished you the best.

Now when I go on Instagram, I can’t seem to rest.

I’m not saying that I’m not happy for you now that your dream came true.

I just wish I didn’t have to see a new post every hour or two

You have every right to be zealous.

But even though I’m not jealous, I’m still a little jealous.